Episode 27: Commitment - What it is like to make one? Lack of commitment in society? How it is scary to make the commitment
Commitment is defined as the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, relationship to be loyal to someone or something, a promise to do or give something
In order to accomplish anything in life it requires that you make a commitment whether that is to yourself, someone else, a business, a project etc. The only way to build a strong social network is your ability to make a commitment. You can look at it in three areas Relationships : Who you spend your time with?; Places: Where you spend your time?; and Activity : What you do with your time?. It is a struggle to manage all three of these areas well. Why is making a commitment easier for some and harder for others? If you are struggling in one area or perhaps all areas how do you start to affect change and move forward with commitment? Perhaps you start with getting curious about what you think and what you believe. For example, Think - one day I will be successful and financially secure. Believe - I am not worthy of success and I will always be poor. This is affecting your decision making and choices in all three areas of relationships, places and activities.
Does lack of commitment seem to be growing in our society? Are more people feeling uncertain, less secure, difficulty trusting others all of these lead to the ability to make a commitment to anything. The effects of commitment issues may be maladaptive behaviors in relationships, avoidant tendencies, less happy, prone to illness, depression, affects performance, self-sabotaging behaviors, feelings of worthlessness. When you and I were dating - dating was dating it meant you went out on 3-5 dates and you were enjoying each other’s time and you wanted to see if there could be a future together. Now you hardly hear the word dating instead you hear words like talking, together, friends with benefits, hooking up which seem like less commitment type words than committed word like dating. Is love, sex and relationships being desensitized due to social media and society’s change in viewpoint?
We’ve heard this phrase a lot “Fear of commitment” What does it really mean? We hear it in the media, we use it to describe ourselves, we use it on others that we think are taking to long to decide. Some people get tagged commitment phobia . Perhaps start small, only take information from those that you intend to follow up with, stop lying to yourself, get your self-esteem boost in ways that don’t involve other people's feelings or them giving it to you, learn more about yourself/ self-study, and prioritize your self-care.
“Commitment is an act, not a word.” -Jean Paul Sartre
“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose and commit myself to what is best for me” Paulo Coelho
“Commitment is a big word that requires both guts and diligence and change is never easy.” Henry Good